


Words

by GuineapigQueen



Series: 300 Followers Requests [10]
Category: South Park
Genre: Autism, M/M, Mpreg, Parenthood, Post Mpreg, Special Needs Child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-28
Updated: 2019-11-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:15:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21588220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GuineapigQueen/pseuds/GuineapigQueen
Summary: Tweek feels a warm glow spread through his belly as he watches Craig carrying their newborn daughter into the living room. It's added a whole new layer to their relationship that Tweek never could have predicted before. He hadn't exactly realised just what the emotional process of becoming a parent would be like. So far he loves his daughter so much, he loves her so fiercely that all the things that he thought would annoy him about parenthood so far feel worth it.
Relationships: Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak
Series: 300 Followers Requests [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1496180
Comments: 4
Kudos: 74





	Words

**Author's Note:**

> A fill for thegenderlesswitch on tumblr who asked for creek having a child with autism, I hope this lives up to what you wanted :)

Tweek feels a warm glow spread through his belly as he watches Craig carrying their newborn daughter into the living room. It's added a whole new layer to their relationship that Tweek never could have predicted before. He hadn't exactly realised just what the emotional process of becoming a parent would be like. So far he loves his daughter so much, he loves her so fiercely that all the things that he thought would annoy him about parenthood so far feel worth it.

Granted they're only just bringing her home now and things are about to get a lot harder but Tweek feels up for the challenge. There's something about watching Craig care for their baby that just makes Tweek fall harder in love. Tweek hasn't even had to ask anything of Craig either, Tweek had a c-section and is still recovering so Craig has done most of the diaper changes and carrying her around. Tweek would love to carry her more but he's got no core strength at the moment. They've got a month together before Craig has to go back to work. Tweek is so excited for them to have this time together but also he's already wishing it would never end. He's so excited for their first time together as a new family. 

"You look so good with her Craig" Tweek hums happily. Craig turns around and grins.

"No sex for six weeks" he jokes.

"Oh no!" Tweek cries, feigning lightheadedness "how ever will I survive!"

"I'm joking though" Craig says, like that was ever really in doubt " _ you  _ look so incredible with her, babe." 

"I'm glad you like my 'just had my belly cut open to give birth' look. It  _ -nghh-  _ suits me" Tweek jokes back. He can't imagine how anyone could find him attractive right now but he feels like he's definitely earned Craig's affections. 

" _ It does _ " Craig says "no, listen. Not that I like that you're wounded but new fatherhood suits you so much." 

"I feel the same  _ -ah-  _ way about you. I wonder if it's just our hormones trying to make us procreate again?" Tweek wonders, only half-joking. 

"I mean evolution does do that? But uh, let's give this one some time to grow first?" Craig suggests, rocking their daughter, Tessa, in his arms. 

"Definitely, holy shit I am  _ -nnn-  _ not having another baby any time soon" Tweek says, being sorely reminded of the intense recovery after a c-section. His belly still hurts when he moves the wrong way. He's told that it's normal and will fade in a few weeks. It could take longer, but only worry if there's redness, inflammation, pus and swelling. So far so good and Tweek knows Craig won't let him lift a finger. 

"No way, she's the focus now. Her and you healing up properly" Craig says sternly.

"Like I have a choice in the matter" Tweek jokes, but he knows Craig will take care of him until he has recovered fully.

"How about you get changed and comfy in bed and I'll bring her in for you. I can tell you're dying to hold her" Craig offers, smiling kindly.

"Christ, I love you" Tweek replies, he can't wait to really have his abdominal muscles back. 

"Go rest" Craig says. 

Tweek is slow getting up the stairs but he can do it on his own. It's definitely an improvement from when he first had the surgery. He can dress himself too, even this tiny bit of independence is a huge improvement. Getting dressed is still a little weird though, only because he just doesn't recognize the body he's currently inhabiting. He barely was used to being pregnant and now it's all changing again. His belly is still round but definitely smaller, his stomach area is almost deflating. He also now has a scar he didn't have before but he can't actually see it over his belly at the moment. Craig is the one checking it for infection at the moment. It's not ideally how Tweek would like to look but its a concession he's very willing to make to have Tessa. 

Tessa is crying by the time Craig hands her over to Tweek but Tweek knows it's just because she's hungry. Craig already has a bottle prepared too which he gives straight to Tweek once Tweek has Tessa safely in his arms. Tweek offers her the bottle, which she takes instantly and quietens. 

Tweek can't help but be mesmerized by her. Her eyes are so big compared to the rest of her face. She's like a cute giant-eyed blob. It's then, trying to look at her, that Tweek notices it. 

"Craig, is she  _ -nghh-  _ avoiding eye contact with us?" Tweek asks his husband.

"I don't know, maybe that's just something they do when they're newborn" Craig suggests, clearly as unsure as Tweek is.

"Maybe, it's weird" Tweek replies. He's concerned but maybe it's just new parent anxiety. 

"We'll keep an eye on it" Craig assures him. Tweek can only agree, eye contact or not, their little girl is perfect. 

—

At first they joke that she's just stoic, like Craig was as a kid. But it's more than that and they both know it. She barely makes any noise at all unless she's crying. She rarely cries for attention either, its just when she wants something. Once she's fed, or changed, or whatever need has been met she stops and goes back into her own world. She doesn't really want to look at them or interact with them beyond getting her needs met. It's weird, Tweek doesn't know if he's just romanticized the bond children and their parents are supposed to have or if there's something definitely wrong. 

Tessa isn't quite four months old but she hasn't smiled at them yet. It's making Tweek panic a little, does his baby just not like him? Is that possible this young? He just doesn't know, he just knows that she  _ should  _ have smiled. He's disappointed as it's something he's been really looking forward to. But when he googles why babies might not smile he notices more. Like that she doesn't follow him or Craig with her eyes when they talk to her. She doesn't really try to interact with objects they show her, she isn't grabbing for toys or putting them in her mouth… the more Tweek reads the more he feels alarmed. Why has their baby met almost none of her milestones? 

He asks Craig about it. He has to, this can't just he him. He still hasn't forgotten the lack of eye contact from when she was first born. It's so obvious, and it hasn't gotten better in the first few months. 

"She hasn't smiled at us Craig" Tweek says, "she barely  _ -nnn-  _ looks at us? This is more than just her potentially hating us right?"

"She doesn't hate us" Craig says comfortingly "it is weird though, we could ask the paediatrician?"

"I think so, I mean, maybe I'm just  _ -gah-  _ anxious or maybe I'm expecting too much emotionally from a  _ -hnn-  _ newborn but I feel like she should at least be looking at us, right?" Tweek tries to rationalize. He doesn't think he's crazy.

"Yeah I think so, I think she should be more interested in us when we talk" Craig replies worriedly "I'm most worried about how she's not grabbing stuff… like everyone I've talked to says that's something they never  _ stop."  _

"Do you think maybe she's…  _ delayed?"  _ Tweek asks, not wanting to say the word out loud. 

"I mean delayed doesn't have to mean like  _ delayed _ " Craig says "it could just mean she's gonna do things a little later."

"I know but if there is  _ -ah-  _ something wrong, isn't it better for us to get help as soon as  _ -nghh-  _ possible?" Tweek asks. He thinks that surely a kid who can get whatever therapy they need younger will adapt better to society.

"I mean, yeah… early intervention is always best. It can't hurt us to bring it up with the doctor" Craig agrees. 

So they make the decision, they go in brave, ready to advocate for their tiny daughter only to be told their being over cautious. 

She's too young to be able to tell if there's any delay, the doctor says. Tweek is shocked by the rebuff but doesn't give up. He starts keeping a journal of Tessa's odd behaviours instead and arms himself for the future.

—

The most obvious and poignant thing for Tweek is that Tessa won't cuddle. Tweek knows this isn't normal because he's had  _ other  _ people's babies who barely knew him come and cuddle him. But his own wont, or at least resists when he tries. It's not just them either, she won't cuddle her grandparents, her aunt or close friends of Tweek and Craig. It's not like she  _ hates  _ them specifically. In fact Tweek thinks she loves them, she just won't show it in ways Tweek is used too. She still doesn't babble and she won't play with them. She will stare at things and just be off in her own world but doesn't want to actually interact. 

She's eight months old but Tweek feels very strongly that she may be on the spectrum. He knows very little about Autism Spectrum disorder but he's been researching like crazy over the last few months. He's been talking to other parents on forums and things and they all say their babies exhibited similar behaviors at Tessa's age. They wouldn't be diagnosed with Autism until eighteen months old. It's frustrating for Tweek because he wants to get her help now, but there's little he can do besides reporting everything to the paediatrician and watch her.

They switched her to a new paediatrician after being rebuffed by the other. Tweek convinced a more autism friendly doctor to take them on. So far it's better. She listens to Tweek's concerns and takes note of them but she won't diagnose her yet. It sucks, but at least someone is listening. 

Their paediatrician is also concerned though, especially as Tessa's not very mobile. Granted she shouldn't be walking or anything yet but she could be crawling. She doesn't even roll over, let alone begin the mechanisms for crawling. 

Craig is dying inside knowing that she won't play with him. He tries almost every day just to be ignored. She doesn't want to be kissed or hugged when he gets home from work. Tweek thinks Craig may be feeling a little starved of affection, even if it isn't Tessa's fault. Tweek tries to make up for it but he knows it's not the same. He wants a close bond with his child too, but they just can't connect. He wishes so badly to be on her wavelength. 

—

Tessa isn't crawling by her first birthday, let alone walking. They've introduced solid foods but she's so picky. She doesn't even want sweet things like cake. Stuff Tweek is sure almost any kid would like as a treat. 

They realise the first birthday party they throw for her is more for them than for her. She hates the noise and the crowd of people passing her around like a football. She cries when they all sing her happy birthday and doesn't want to interact with any of her relatives or friends kids. She just wants to be alone, in the quiet. 

Tweek genuinely doesn't know what to do. How can he connect with this child? How can he entertain her and show her she's loved in ways she will appreciate? He doesn't know how to explain it to their friends and relatives attending the party. 

Craig's parents understand at least. Laura has spotted the potential signs of autism in Tessa too. She's quietly agreed with them that there is definitely something there. Tweek is relieved that they have someone else to talk to even if it's not something they've gone through exactly. 

Craig is on the spectrum, but mildly. Not like Tessa is, Craig spoke and hit most of his milestones as a kid he just struggled more socially. While Tweek appreciates the education Craig's parents have on the topic, it's just a whole other thing with Tessa. At this stage Tessa isn't walking or speaking and is making no developments towards those things. Tweek is starting to realise this may be their future, their child may  _ never  _ speak to them. 

Tweek isn't sure he can handle that truth at all.

—

While Tweek has been waiting eighteen months to officially get a diagnosis hearing it for real is something else entirely. It’s very real now, and while that means they can get her help and be proactive it also means facing the consequences. Tessa isn’t high functioning, she can’t speak and doesn’t walk. While they knew she was autistic all this time it’s finally real and they’ve got to reorient their life to accommodate their severely disabled child. Tessa is going to need physical therapy, occupational therapy and speech therapy,  _ at least.  _ This is just to prepare her for eventually going to school and even then she will probably need to go to a special school. Tweek would be lying if he says that this is what he wanted for his child. While he doesn’t love her any less he never imagined that his baby might never be able to communicate. Tweek can’t help but long for all the normal milestones even though he knows they may never come. Craig feels the same way too, it’s very bittersweet. 

Some hope comes in that she crawls now, not very well and she often just refuses to do it. But she  _ can  _ and that’s what’s important. Tweek takes a video almost every time she does it to remind himself how far she has come. Tweek is staying at home with her, they made that decision when they realised their child has some form of special needs. Tweek had intended to go back to work after a year or so of Tessa being born but it just became apparent that she was going to need extra help. Craig had been working since Tessa was about two months old, so it made sense for Tweek to just stay with her. Tweek doesn’t mind, caring for her has become a new focus and work is just a foggy memory at this point. 

They’re also debating having another baby. There’d been a vague plan to try again for another when Tessa was nearing two but now Tweek isn’t so sure. It’s not that they don’t want more children, it's just that Tessa is so delayed in her development that it’s not like they have an eighteen month old. It feels like they have a younger child who needs much more from them, if they want more children Tweek thinks they’ll have to wait until Tessa is a bit older. 

“Are you okay?” Craig asks him softly. The appointment was hours ago and Tessa is now asleep in bed but Craig and Tweek are definitely still thinking about it. 

“I guess I’m just  _ -nnn- _ thinking about the future… like, where is she gonna go to school? Can we  _ -ah-  _ put her in preschool? Will she ever be able to have a job or lead a normal adult life?” Tweek admits, he just can’t stop worrying about the future and the decisions they’ll have to make for her. 

“I know, I think about that all too. I wish I had answers for us” Craig replies forlornly.

“Me too, and also, having another baby? I don’t think we  _ -gah-  _ can, I think she’s just gonna need too much” Tweek says, deciding to get all his worries out while they’re at it. 

“We can push having another child back a few years, we don’t need to do that all now” Craig says comforting. Tweek is silently glad that Craig agrees with him. 

“I know, but I did want to” he replies, still a little disappointed. He can’t help it. While he wouldn’t take Tessa back, or change her for the world his plans have all been grown very far off course. 

“I know babe, but we gotta look after the one we got” Craig encourages, giving Tweek a hug. 

“That’s true, I guess I’m just scared that she won’t have much of a life at all” he confesses. That’s the thing he’s scared of the most, that Tessa won’t be able to do all the things he takes for granted. He wants her to have a job, a partner, kids if she wants them… just a life of her own. 

“I don’t think so, I think she’ll have a great life. It just might be a bit different from the one we originally imagined” Craig smiles. Tweek appreciates his strength, and that he sees potential in their daughter that sometimes Tweek misses when he is too busy worrying about the negatives.

Tweek nods, agreeing silently. Tweek doesn’t think that Tessa doesn’t enjoy herself she just seems to do so alone. If Tweek tries to play with her she crawls away to another part of the room to be on her own. It’s a little hurtful, Tweek will admit, but maybe when she’s older they’ll figure out better ways to communicate. Maybe the speech therapy will help her learn  _ some  _ words. He has to hope for something, right?

“Maybe she’ll develop a special interest when she’s a little older?” Craig suggests “and we can bond with her over that.”

“I think I’d  _ -hnn- _ take anything” Tweek says. Parenthood is funny like that, if Tessa came home one day obsessed with bugs or something, Tweek would become an expert in bugs - just to connect with his daughter. The things you do for them. 

—

Patience is a virtue but sometimes Tweek feels like he’s running out of it. He’s a human being, he cannot be a saint all the time. While he does his best to be selfless and a tireless advocate for Tessa and her wellbeing he doesn’t always have the strength. Today is a bad day, Tweek is curled up in bed with a headache and just unable to handle any meltdowns from two year old Tessa. The terrible twos are still just as awful, even if your child is autistic. Craig graciously took a sick day at work to stay home and care for Tessa while Tweek rests. 

This isn’t usual. Normally Tweek is a pillar of strength and relentlessly handles the trials of caring for their child. But everyone needs a break sometimes, everyone needs a sick day. 

Perhaps it’s because he’s already feeling unwell but today he’s feeling particularly down about the whole situation. He has to remind himself of the good things, she can walk a little now and sometimes she’ll show them a toy if she finds it interesting. That’s a big leap for them. It’s just harder to see it on a day like today because she still doesn’t talk. While she’s made improvements on her movement and motor skills, her language is still not developing. The speech therapist says there could be a chance that it never develops. That idea is what breaks Tweek the most. He wants to hear his daughter's voice, he wants her to share her thoughts with him and tell him about her day. He may never get to hear her say words, he will only get her noises and grunts. Never hearing his kid call him dad is just too much. He just wants that one thing. 

He can hear Craig outside, wrangling Tessa. It’s bedtime which is everyone’s most hated time of the day. Tessa never wants to eat dinner, have a bath and put on her pyjamas. She never wants to get in bed and stay there. He knows most kids don’t like bedtime at her age but it’s just  _ harder.  _ They can’t really bribe her or communicate, she doesn’t really understand consequence and reward yet. Just a lot of screaming, chasing and trying to soothe. 

Tweek is grateful for the reprieve though. He definitely needs the quiet and dark of the bedroom today. Tomorrow he'll probably be fine to take up arms again and keep up with the routine. He's lucky to have a supportive partner like Craig. 

He rolls over, hearing the door creak open. He's fully expecting it to be Craig but instead he sees a tiny silhouette that can only be Tessa. 

"What are you  _ -nnn-  _ doing sweetheart?" He asks her. 

"Ah" is all she says, her little hands flapping as she walks closer to the bed. (Her main stim at present.)

"Where's daddy?" He asks her, she just points at the doorway. Tweek can't see him but he has to assume he's not far away. 

"Ah!" Tessa exclaims, her hand out for when she wants 'up.' To be honest she doesn't want 'up' very often so Tweek edges over and lifts her up.

"What do you need baby?" He asks her. She doesn't provide any kind of answer, just hugs him tightly. She doesn't really want to hug very often, so Tweek tries to treasure the moment. His heart swells in his chest, this is a reminder of why all the hard parts are worth it. Sometimes she just surprises him.

"She wanted to say goodnight" Craig says, appearing at the door. 

"Well  _ -hnn-  _ goodnight baby" Tweek says, he takes a chance and kisses the top of her head. She doesn't kiss him back, but she doesn't shy away either. A small victory in Tweek's eye.

"C'mon miss" Craig says, coming in to lift her off the bed.

"Night night, I love you" Tweek says, smiling. Tessa doesn't reply vocally but she smiles back. That's enough for him. 

Tweek rests once they've gone. He replays the moment over in his head, smiling when he does so. He can't wait to tell Craig's parents. Just tell anyone, she hardly ever hugs him! And even then, it's usually not her who initiates it. It's just the kind of thing he needs to recharge his parenting batteries. 

When Tessa is finally down Craig comes back into the room. He tiptoes in quietly but Tweek hears him.

"You awake?" He whispers.

"Yeah" Tweek says quietly "thanks for  _ -ah-  _ bringing her in, I needed that."

"Yeah she was being a little cuddly with me and I thought you might want some of that. I asked her if she wanted to say goodnight to you and she nodded her head" Craig says with a fond smile. 

"I'm so glad she learned to  _ -ah-  _ nod and shake her head at least" Tweek says, things are easier with that small amount of communication available. 

"Yeah it's a lifesaver" Craig agrees. 

"I just need to  _ -nghh- _ remember that words aren't everything. She says things to us in other ways" Tweek affirms. He wants her to speak so bad but really, it's not the end of the world if she doesn't. She's still his beautiful daughter and he loves her just how she is. 

"She does, and she's learning more and more ways to let us know what she wants at therapy" Craig encourages. 

"Come here,  _ -nnn-  _ hold me?" Tweek asks, parring the spot next to him on the bed. 

"Of course, see words aren't everything" Craig says as that familiar warm sensation reappears. The way he feels when Craig holds him, it's nothing words could even come close to. 

"Between her giving me that hug and  _ -ah- _ you supporting me and holding me tight? Things aren't so bad" Tweek agrees, snuggling as close to Craig as he can.

"They're not, we love each other and we love our kid" Craig reminds him. Tweek has to agree, things will be what they'll be. Tweek can't change them, he just has to adapt to them. 

—

Tessa is approaching three and she's made some progress. She walks and now shows interest in objects. She grabs toys and puts them in her mouth, she plays, but usually on her own. She can shake her head for yes or no and has learned to point at things she wants. She still hasn't spoken, but Tweek is beginning to realise that hoping for that may just not be worth the heartache. There's software they can get for her, she can learn to type and hopefully that will give them more meaningful communication. 

Tessa is full of surprises. She usually wants to play alone, to the point that she'll avoid Craig and Tweek or other kids. She usually picks up whatever toy and leaves the room. It's something Craig and Tweek are more used to now. Rather than hurt them it's more just a funny thing their unusual little girl does. Sometimes though, she'll try and play with them and it's never not an incredible moment. It never gets old or less elating. They would play with her for hours if required. 

They're having another baby, it was a surprise. Not an unwelcome one though, Tweek thinks they may have never actually taken the plunge if the pregnancy hadn't surprised them. Tessa isn't all that interested in the new baby but an upside is she absolutely doesn't seem jealous. Tweek is only five months gone but he's excited. Maybe being a big sister will help Tessa with her social skills. They don't know, but they're hopeful. 

Tweek is still very quietly hopeful for Tessa, even if she isn't going to be typical. Tweek can see she's intelligent. Not meeting those first year milestones doesn't mean she's stupid. At the moment she is obsessed with alphabet blocks and words, which Tweek thinks is very advanced for a three year old. Hopefully this means she can do well in school, even if it is in her own way. It's weird that she's obsessed with learning and spelling words but cannot say any but it's just another thing that gives him more hope.

Tweek watches her play, she hasn't indicated that she wants him involved so he is just keeping an eye. He stays a certain distance away, one safe enough that he can still see her but that she doesn't feel watched. He just sits on the floor, the baby is moving a little in his belly which is nice. Tweek hopes that Tessa will be okay meeting her new sibling. 

Tessa looks up and points at her blocks but Tweek is looking down at his stomach and doesn't see her at first. He hears her though.

"Dada" she says, clear as day. Tweek shoots his head up. Tessa toddles over to him and grabs his hand. She pulls and points at her blocks. "Dada!" She exclaims again.

Tweek is the one left speechless for once. He follows her anyway, still shell-shocked. Tessa has made her blocks spell cat. Tweek is aware she wants one but they've been stalling.

"Good job baby!" Tweek congratulates "maybe we will think about a  _ -nghh-  _ cat after the baby comes."

Tessa nods. She places a hand on the small swell of Tweek's stomach and smiles.

"Yeah, that's your new baby brother or sister" Tweek replies. 

"Hey Tessa" Tweek says, "you  _ -ah- _ call me dada whenever you want, okay?"

She nods and smiles.

Maybe she'll never say another word again, or maybe she'll learn to speak completely. Either way, Tweek can't wait to find out. He knows he'll adore her no matter what. 

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is blesspastacraig if you wanna be friends :)


End file.
